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Business News From a Baby in Space

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Business News From a Baby in Space

Perfume Genius
Jan 23, 2022
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Business News From a Baby in Space

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-Staples recently made a $1 billion offer to buy rival Office Depot's consumer business, the latest in its multiyear attempt to consolidate the office-products space. Consolidation? Literally never heard of it... i'm having a little powdered snack up here...

-U.S. department store chain Kohl's Corp has been approached by private equity firm Sycamore Partners about a potential takeover offer. Takeover this, takeover that, when I go potty it FLOATS

-Germany's flagship carrier Lufthansa (LHAG.DE) is in talks to buy a 40% stake in state-owned Alitalia's successor Italian Airways. From my shuttle every country is just a speck. From my shuttle our entire planet is fragile and small, hanging precariously in a limitless void.

-Union faults BP’s proposals in local refinery negotiations. The only BP I experience during orbit is -- you guessed it -- Baby Poop. Fault that.

-Novogratz' Galaxy Digital hires Blackstone executive for asset management arm. I am two years old and untethered from Earth. I float freely without supervision.

-Shareholder Terry Smith labels Unilever's failed 50 billion pound GSK bid "near death experience." Dramatic much? If a micro-meteorite was to pierce my little spacesuit, I would die from asphyxiation or decompression within seconds. I live with this knowledge everyday and it does not prevent me from doing daily maintenance on my craft.

-Poland's largest drug maker Polpharma is working on a possible $4 billion takeover of Czech rival Zentiva. I am a weightless baby that does not fear death. My shit floats, so do my piss streams. My snacks are powdered, each miniature meal is freeze-dried. I am alone but not lost. I will be three in September and have an intuitive knowing that everything will be alright. Not everyone can say that.

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Business News From a Baby in Space

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Business News From a Baby in Space

perfumegenius.substack.com
Dan Barry
Mar 5, 2022

I am reassured that Floating Baby believes that everything will be alright.

Can you (or Floating Baby) please let me know if Perfume Genius is going to perform anywhere in Austin, in addition to FloodFest at the Mohawk on March 17?

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Marianela D'Aprile
Writes the immense wave
Jan 24, 2022

made me cry

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