wait I currently have covid and am being held in isolation in a college dorm room. The only contact with the outside world that I have is to wave a silk scarf to my lovers and friends out the window. Other than that I twice a day receive meals from my minder/guard Maureen who always winks at me when she says “have a nice night”, which I think has given me Stockholm syndrome. Please send help. I am VERY bored with the wig I brought with me.
I’m dealing with Derealization/panic attacks for the first time in my life during the pandemic (it’s absolutely terrifying). Trying so hard everyday to get the fire back in my belly. Some days it feels so far away but I’ll keep working at it. You and ocean vuong seem to be helping :)
I'm almost 25, just lost my 9 to 5 job with stable income, and feel super lost. I want to make art /music for a living but am afraid of taking the risk and working odd jobs to support myself right now so that I can work more on my creative practice. I'm all kinds of excited, nervous, stressed, and depressed.
John Ashbery said that essentially the desire for a god, a “sort of intendant to whom the most important tasks may be entrusted so as to leave you free for the necessary task of idleness that is a condition, the condition, of your being…” and the seeking of that intendant or administrator is not helpful and can be counterproductive in a way. But then he says that “It is better to take in a third person as a confidant, but since there is nothing to confide . . .” And he just kind of trails off but I do think in the individual search for meaning or order or control there is merit to a third person “confidant” to whom we communicate. I agree there is nothing to confide I.E. our telling doesn’t necessarily remedy larger concerns or questions BUT if he’s right and a third person would be better to turn to than god, who is that third person? The conscious mind which I try to remind myself is what “I” listen to? Or the individual other perceiver of me who effectively makes me with their perception?
My 7 year old daughter is experiencing existential dread. Every night, she's worried about the fact that she and I will both die one day. My poor baby.
zoloft nightmares made me dream my dead dad brought me to the tony awards and made me take a picture of him w seinfeld.. woke up and had to tutor a student ab Freud what does it all mean
trying to make it in a foreign city where somedays you feel amazing and others it feels like everything is x3 harder than it should be (plus gay angst lol)
Let me help
i love all of you, i am being the little doctor and will respond as many as i can!!
for everybody in love with their best friend....that's called being gay.....https://open.spotify.com/track/1DfRCC2qpjjzc6l5DmTjkG?si=4c3c65a860834265
a lot of you are coming to me with actual aches and pains in the lower back, legs, we even have a concussion in the chat..... this one is for all my girls with somethin physical going on: blood rose by tori amos https://open.spotify.com/track/4TB1VONcmN1kmzcgMwraZ0?si=d59209dd0f824434
i have to go for tonight, i'll check back in tomorrow
waiting on results from a job interview but also wanting to transform into a goat and live on a mountain
Queer loneliness
You just did. Played nothing at all out of the blue 3 minutes ago. Sated. Thanks again,
I need someone to kiss my forehead and I do not have someone to kiss my forehead
recovering from a bone marrow transplant (thanks sister) to treat aplastic anemia
waiting for your misha article
wait I currently have covid and am being held in isolation in a college dorm room. The only contact with the outside world that I have is to wave a silk scarf to my lovers and friends out the window. Other than that I twice a day receive meals from my minder/guard Maureen who always winks at me when she says “have a nice night”, which I think has given me Stockholm syndrome. Please send help. I am VERY bored with the wig I brought with me.
can't remember the last time I felt safe
miel pops zu zu zu
in love w my best friend lmfao
I’m dealing with Derealization/panic attacks for the first time in my life during the pandemic (it’s absolutely terrifying). Trying so hard everyday to get the fire back in my belly. Some days it feels so far away but I’ll keep working at it. You and ocean vuong seem to be helping :)
Compulsively procrastinating due to unresolved trauma even when it takes away from investing your time towards goals and artistry.
Capitalism
I'm almost 25, just lost my 9 to 5 job with stable income, and feel super lost. I want to make art /music for a living but am afraid of taking the risk and working odd jobs to support myself right now so that I can work more on my creative practice. I'm all kinds of excited, nervous, stressed, and depressed.
John Ashbery said that essentially the desire for a god, a “sort of intendant to whom the most important tasks may be entrusted so as to leave you free for the necessary task of idleness that is a condition, the condition, of your being…” and the seeking of that intendant or administrator is not helpful and can be counterproductive in a way. But then he says that “It is better to take in a third person as a confidant, but since there is nothing to confide . . .” And he just kind of trails off but I do think in the individual search for meaning or order or control there is merit to a third person “confidant” to whom we communicate. I agree there is nothing to confide I.E. our telling doesn’t necessarily remedy larger concerns or questions BUT if he’s right and a third person would be better to turn to than god, who is that third person? The conscious mind which I try to remind myself is what “I” listen to? Or the individual other perceiver of me who effectively makes me with their perception?
My 7 year old daughter is experiencing existential dread. Every night, she's worried about the fact that she and I will both die one day. My poor baby.
I have diarrhea
overwhelming loneliness & feeling behind in life
indecisiveness and self-loathing, honestly
i just want this all to mean something to someone, i guess
the need to be hugged
Can’t stop procrastinating
stomach pains & digestive issues :( because god gives his toughest battles to his silliest gooses :(
the world is so close to falling apart, so much injustice and problems with capitalism
zoloft nightmares made me dream my dead dad brought me to the tony awards and made me take a picture of him w seinfeld.. woke up and had to tutor a student ab Freud what does it all mean
sleepless nights, stomach aches, sad thoughts
concussion and unrequited longing
grad school is too bleak
too depressed to hang my fake cobwebs
melancholia while laying on a beach at night
unhealthy interpersonal dependence in relationships makes me feel broken & sad
Hello Dr. Genius. Dealing with a lot of transphobic microaggressions from my family lately. And overall never-ending gender dysphoria.
I have been diagnosed with bladder cancer. Will lose my bladder, prostate and urethra. Maybe my life. What song can sooth my anxiety.
Trying to overcome self-doubt and believe I have the power to change like I want to
simply overwhelmed...by so much good and bad and between...too much
trying to make it in a foreign city where somedays you feel amazing and others it feels like everything is x3 harder than it should be (plus gay angst lol)
transgender blues
I don't know how to dance anymore.
Pretty much, there is no hope...planet's fucked, etc. The more I think about it the more hopeless I become. And this is me being cheerful.
I miss someone that recently moved away
school is overwhelming
someone I love died
trying my hardest not to ask my crush out because i'm afraid of rejection
that i'll never allow anyone to love me
I’m in the longest covid lockdown in the world (Melbourne) and the depression is hitting hard!
i hate every moment of planning my wedding